You are amusing christmas poems, humorous poetry books, humorous christmas poems online, write your own poem. Christmas Poems For Office Parties
The Christmas Tree Light Stringer’s Lament
I strung the lights on the Christmas tree,
And gingerly plugged them in.
That’s when I noticed a bulb was out,
And my troubles did begin.
I found my box of spare bulbs
In my top workshop drawer.
I quickly changed the bulb,
But then out went two more.
Christmas tree lights
I got two more replacements,
And carefully plugged them in.
Then I gathered all the burnt out bulbs,
And tossed them into the trash bin.
As I walked back to the tree,
The whole string started to blink.
Now this wasn’t a twinkle light set,
And my stomach began to sink.
Suddenly I heard a sizzle,
And then I heard a pop.
Then everything went so silent,
You could have heard a pin drop.
The whole darn string just died.
Not one single bulb remained lit.
So the tree will just have to stay dark this year,
Because this light stringer just quit.
Milk and Cookies for Santa
There’s milk and cookies for Santa,
And they look delicious to me.
There are four on a plate on the mantel,
And if I eat one, there will still be three.
milk and cookies
Santa’s quite a plump fellow,
Looks like he eats well all year through.
If I eat one more of those cookies,
Santa will still have two.
Those cookies have made my mouth dry,
And now I need something to drink.
That milk is still quite chilly,
A few gulps will do it, I think.
Those cookies were oh so tasty.
I don’t think my tummy’s quite done.
If I only eat one more cookie,
Santa surely can get by with just one.
That last cookie looks so lonely,
He must miss his friends in my tummy.
I’m not sure that I can resist him…
No, I can’t, and he’s certainly yummy!
Uh-oh, Santa’s treat is all gone now.
If I’m caught, I will be in big trouble.
I need to beat feet from the scene of my crime,
And get back into bed on the double!
The Dreaded Christmas Fruitcake
Oh fruitcake, oh fruitcake,
Why are you heavy like a rock?
And why do people keep sending you to me?
I really wish they would stop.
Your texture is like rubber,
And your fruit is chewy like gum.
I think no one would give you as a gift,
If they’d ever eaten some.
I’ve tried re-gifting you,
But you just keep coming back.
If I have to look at you one more time,
I think my mind will crack.
I really hate to be wasteful,
And I don’t like to act rash,
But I can’t take it anymore,
You’re going into the trash!
Never Wait Until Christmas Eve to Wrap
There I sat on Christmas Eve
Amid a big pile of gifts.
Waiting until the last moment to wrap
Was really not too swift.
So I wrapped a bunch of presents,
And then piled them on the floor.
I thought I was about half done,
But suddenly it appeared there were more.
So I began wrapping faster,
And my hands were really flying,
But it seemed no matter how quickly I worked
The unwrapped gifts kept multiplying.
And so I frantically stepped up my pace
As sweat broke out on my brow.
But a look at that pile just made my heart race;
Surely they should all be wrapped by now.
I went right back to my wrapping
And shaking my head in doubt.
How would I finish by morning,
When my fingers were about to give out?
And that, my friends, is about the time,
That the room began to spin.
I started feeling quite woozy,
So I laid my head down and gave in.
And that’s where they found me next morning,
Passed out amid gifts on the floor.
So believe me when I make this promise;
I won’t wait until Christmas Eve anymore.
Original poems contributed by Kelly Roper.
Put a beachy twist on the classic games of bingo by:
- Creating a bingo card with a blank grid.
- Make enough copies for every guest.
- Have guests write a beach themed word into each square.
- Before the party, have beach words written on slips of paper and put them in a beach bucket.
- Draw the slips of paper from the bucket and announce the beach word that is written on the slip.
- Guests will cross off words from their cards as they are called.
- The winner can be whoever fills his or her entire card or gets a row of marked spaces.
- Instead of yelling bingo, have the winner yell beach!